I didn't want to be a notification

The Series I didn't want to be a notification explores long-distance romantic relationships in the age of social media. 

This photographic installation traces a virtual romantic correspondence from its beginning to its end. It reveals our desires, our frustrations, our loves, our pleasures, our doubts, and our wanderings. The intimacy of the words is mirrored by the intimacy of the body—my own. A body trying to get by without the other’s body. A frustrated body. A body trying to merge with all that remains: words on a phone screen. My self-portraits are transferred directly onto excerpts from our WhatsApp conversation.

through this installation, I recount an experience of bodily dislocation. Sometimes, a single encounter is enough to stir every cell in our bodies. And when we live in two geographically distant places, distance separates our bodies. Longing becomes a boundary and maps out a geography of emptiness. The experience of absence tugs at the gut and dissolves the veins.

When we’re physically apart, I cling to the text messages I receive. For months on end, our relationship boils down to messages via WhatsApp. At first, that’s enough for us. We make love virtually, we call each other, we text, we get turned on, we come. The rhythm of these messages punctuates my days. Then, our exchanges become fewer and farther between, colder. Distance takes over. It imposes itself. 

I feel like I’ve become a notification on a stranger’s phone. I don’t want to become a notification. I’m putting an end to our correspondence—and to our relationship. With this series, I’m exploring our relationship to the body, sexuality, desire, longing, and sexual frustration.

How do our bodies adapt to geographical distance?
How can we explore our desires when the relationship is virtual?
How Do Kilometers Drive a Wedge Between Us?